A rough day....

It has been a rough few days trying to get everything wrapped up...why can finishing things be so hard some times?!? Its like when you start cleaning out your closet - you pull everything out and throw it on your bed, and start....what you think is a 6 hour project. and 12 hours later, you still aren't done. welcome to my I am working hard to get it done - and get it done right. I don't want to leave a mess...and trust me - they won't let me! I'm not allowed to turn in my computer and secure ID until I have finished. *sigh* I wish it was just me trying to finish stuff up instead of waiting on other people!

On another note - I got a random phone call today. this random dude called and here was the interchange:
him - "Do you have a doctor named Dr. X?
me - "yes"
him - "she has called ALL morning trying to reach you but she keeps calling me. I think she has the wrong number. I called the number and got you - but when she calls - she swears she is calling the right number - but she isn't. Can you call her and give her the RIGHT number so she will stop calling me?!?!?"
me - "yes, I'm so sorry about that" and in my cheeriest voice "have a great day and thanks for letting me know!"

Then I am thinking GREAT. This doctor doesn't call multiple times. She barely calls once. Something is up. So I call the office, which of course, I don't get anyone. Why would I expect to actually talk to a real person? seriously.

I get a call back from the nurse an hour later. I won't recap all of this conversation, but basically she informs me that I have a nodule on the right lobe of my thyroid and they need to do a biopsy. She talked about scheduling it next week, they want it done pretty fast, I will be one of the first appointments scheduled monday when everyone gets back from vacation. I asked for a copy of the lab report (I have learned - always get a copy! you never know when you will need it next!)

She sent over the labs - it appears that my thyroid has grown A LOT....based on the last sonogram I had in June (don't worry - there are measurements on it). It also appears that there are two nodules, not just one. It also said it was enlarged-but of course they used some medical language that just means the same thing. (yes, i had to google it to figure it out because it was a scary word - that was one of those words that I think totally blows things out of proportion when you read it).

Yes, I am a little freaked out. But I have the best friends and sisters in the WORLD trying to calm me down. My twinkie has decided she is going to be my "internet patient advocate". She LOVES to look things up - so she starts googling. Ironically, both she and my sister came back with the same website. Basically it says that 95% of nodules are not cancerous. Here is also what it says:

The following features favor a benign thyroid nodule:

• family history of Hashimoto's thyroiditis (well, the fam does have hasimoto's disease....not sure what thyroiditis is....)
• family history of benign thyroid nodule or goiter (I think my grandmother had a goiter...I'm the lucky grandaughter that inherited that one)
• symptoms of hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism (check. maybe double check)
• pain or tenderness associated with a nodule (well, my neck hurts. does that count?)
• a soft, smooth, mobile nodule (no idea what this really means. moving on).
• multinodular goiter without a predominant nodule (yeah, this is beyond me)
• "warm" nodule on thyroid scan (produces normal amount of hormone) - (in my case - it should be "hot" producing lots of hormones. yes, welcome to my world. lots of hormones).
• simple cyst on ultrasound (who knows. I didn't see it. But I don't think so).

So, based on that I think I am going to be okay. BUT it still scares the living daylights out of me. Anytime someone says "biopsy" I think you are going to think the worst. Regardless of whether you said you needed to biopsy that cake over there or whether you were talking about sticking a needle in your neck.

Yes, I cried. This is me - you would expect nothing less. So now I wait till I hear from them next week. But I have an appt with the ENT to discuss surgery and if that is even possible. Right now - he would say no way. My thyroid is out of whack again, and I can't take meds to make it go back to normal. So my heart rate is up and I feel out of it again. And we don't really want to operate when the heart is going crazy - that is no good. too risky. But if I got on thyroid meds to try to slow it down, I lose the ability to do the radioactive iodine. So I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. then I have to figure out the whole "blood thinner" problem. Do I have to go off of them for the biopsy (hopefully not - it is just a needle in the neck) but for sure I have to go off for surgery and/or radioactive iodine (the latter, per my doctor. but the other doctor and the hospital said I didn't. I'm not going to fight it - at all. I'll do what she thinks is best. and give myself shots in the stomach 2 times a day for 16 days. whatever. no one will see the bruising anyway).

All of that while trying to leave one job and start the other - in the middle of quarter. *sigh* why can't life just be easy? I have no idea.

So say a little prayer that I am in that 95% category and that everything is totally fine and we can just kill the thyroid and move on. All I can say is "this too shall pass". I know He will never give me more than I can handle - but he sure thinks I can handle a lot!!!