Recap of 2011

I know its been a while...a long while. 2011 has been a rough year for me -- I have been challenged more, struggled more, felt more emotions than I ever thought possible and have had to work through lots of things both emotionally and physically.

But its been a GOOD year. 

I'm thankful for the path the Lord has led me on this year....He has shown me HOW much He loves me and that He has some AMAZING plans for me -- if I just wait and trust Him. I've had some amazing people in my life this this year -- some new friends and some old -- who have taught me about myself, God, my relationships with friends and families and have helped me work through so many things going on in my life. I am SO grateful for each and everyone who has listened to me, given me advice, cried with me, given me a shoulder to lean on and in the end, shown me how amazing my life truly is.

I know that I am truly BLESSED. 

I've had the opportunity to visit some amazing places this year....and had the opportunity to experience and see some amazing things. LM and I travelled to Ireland and got to see some amazing castles...

 and some of the most amazing scenery I have ever seen before in my life. Everything is as green as you see in the pictures.

 We travelled all over Ireland - and saw almost everything there was to see. The Cliffs of Moher were one of my favorites. They were just SO amazing. Although, I didn't walk along the edge like LM did...I'm too afraid of heights for that one!

 And then we stopped off in London on the way home. It was a great weekend to get to see the city and all the amazing things it has to offer.

 And of course, you have to take at least ONE picture in the phone booths! Its like a requirement for the trip!

And after I got back from Ireland, I had to work my tail off as I got to experience my first budget season. After that, I had to take another vacation. LM was headed to the Caymans for work....I know, rough. And I tagged along for a long weekend. Although I was sick for most of the trip...and it rained quite a bit, I still got to experience the amazing beach, the sun and even better time with one of my besties!

Then I came back and it was birthday time. I haven't had a big birthday party in QUITE a while, and my friend SM was gracious enough to throw me an awesome party at her house. The best part, we bought a bouncey house for the kids...yes, I said the kids. :) I loved getting to see all of my friends, catch up, and at the end of the night, get some quality time in the bouncey house too! Here are some pictures from the party...

 You can see it was a BEAUTIFUL day. The weather was gorgeous and it was a wonderful day to spend outside! Here are some KPMG friends....the O's above, and the J's and R's below!

 Here I am with M and S, the hostess with the mostest. I was so blessed to be surrounded by so many I love that weekend.

 And the bouncey house...the best purchase ever. Here is P with little E bouncing around in the bouncey house. EVERYONE enjoyed it. It was SO much fun!!!

 And the best picture of the night...it was at the end of the night and I think this just shows how much fun  we were having. Thanks S, for the most amazing b-day party!

And if that party wasn't enough, the best thing happened the very next day. I feel like God has been calling me for a long time to TRUST in Him. To let go...and follow Him. So I made the decision to get baptized. It was a long time coming -- God had been tugging at my heart for a while to be obedient to Him. And with everything that had been going on in the last year, I felt like it was the perfect time -- to truly tell God I was done trying to do it on my own and I was ready to let Him really take control of my life.

I was also blessed that Malcom, who had taught with one of my best friends a while back, was the Pastor that baptized me. I love his way with words and the way he was able to take my story and say it in a way that beautifully described my life and my decision.

I wish I had what Malcom said on video. He told my story so eloquently and perfectly. I had told Malcom how I have lived my life so busy...to keep me from thinking about things, from doing the things I should, and he said it perfectly when he said that busyness was my idol....something that was keeping me from God. Something that I put before God. And he was right....it was the one thing that was keeping me from trusting in God, from spending time with Him, and from truly dedicating my life to Him. I needed to slow down and let go of all those things that were keeping me from God.

And I felt like I had made some decisions throughout the year to slow down, and it was the perfect statement of the changes I wanted to make in my life. And I feel like this whole year God has been leading me down this path, showing me changes I need to make in my life, and truly growing me in unimaginable ways.  I'm still not where I want to be, or He wants me to be for that matter, but I feel like I am on the right path again. And better than anything else, I know that I am LOVED and TRULY BLESSED.

And I am ready for 2012. I know it is going to be an amazing year and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me!

I am ready...

I am ready for restaurant month to be over....I mean, I love restaurant month. Don't get me wrong about that....but my pants don't fit - so therefore I am ready for it to be over! Its been a fun month...I have gotten to see a LOT of people I haven't seen in a while and have gotten to try so many great restaurants!

The girls and I went to Prego in the Village...it was fantastic!!!! Of course, the company was just as good as the food! Below, KC, MG, PR, SM, me and LG.

I went with a few work friends to Marks, went with the O's to Ruth's Chris, and went as a going away dinner for one of my sweet staff who is leaving to Del Friscos. Then last night we went to Masraff's with my supper club...which was really fantastic. Below - SJ, me and CT.

And a bunch of old KPMG friends all went to Ouisie's Table -- which is fantastic - but the best thing they have is chicken fried steak and that was not on Restaurant week. I feel like there is more, but I think I am blocking it out....too much good food! And lots of really great company...and laughs....and good times with friends. It was exactly what I have needed this month!

the wedding...and the birthday party

My youngest cousin on my Dad's side, E, got married...to one of the sweetest men alive. I mean, to want to join our family - he'd need to be! ha ha. Only kidding about that. Our family is SO fantastic! We all flew to Lubbock for the wedding. Here are the two of us at the brunch the morning of the big day!

We have a big joke in our family about being the favorite cousin....it is usually betwen E, me and J - who is in the picture below with me. In reality, I am NO WHERE near the favorite (and the favorite describes the favorite of my grandfather....not like the favorite in general because I would totally snag that! ha!) Anyway, I love getting to spend time with the two of them (and the rest of the family) because we all get along SO well!

And I love this picture of me and my sweet twinkie...of course, she probably hates it, but whatever. I think it is WAY cute! She looked so stinking cute in her red dress!

And here are the two of us with Mom....love her. Love that we all got to spend the weekend together!

And here is Sweet E with my Grandfather. too bad you can't see from this picture how tall the man is...because he is tall. If you ever wonder where I get it from - it is him. I would dare to say our feet are about the same size too....but he might beat me by a size....or two. We all loved that he was able to be there to celebrate E's big day!

And then this past weekend we went to celebrate the 40th birthday of one of the girls from my prior year JL placement at Camp Rainbow. That year, the blue group just rocked. All of the JL girls in our group were just so much fun and we REALLY enjoyed getting to be together. And just clicked...and still hang out. The girls that had done it before, and ones that have done it subsequent have said there is nothing like this group. We definitely know how to have fun...that's for sure! Here we are all dressed up - S, me and J.

And here we are with the birthday girl too! She had the most fabulous dress...she is actually leaning over becuase I am pretty sure she is way taller than I am! The best part of the evening....besides the dancing, food and karyoke....was the grilled cheeses that were served at midnight. AWESOME I tell you!

I so love getting to hang out with these girls...I just now need to plan our next outing!

Happy Friday to everyone!

the last month....

I swear, everyone is asking where I have been. I really think had my internet been working, you would have known...however, I have now had 3 trips to my house from AT&T in the last few months, and FINALLY it appears they have fixed it. Keep crossing your fingers it keeps working!

The last month has been CRAZY busy - but also SO MUCH FUN. I love it when you can just look back at all your pictures and re-live how much fun it was. I think God has truly blessed my life lately - he has opened my eyes to so many things, let me spend my time with people who are truly a blessing to me - and let me do some of the things I love. 

I've been home a few times lately...I love going home. I've told you guys that before, but walking into my parents house for me is like walking into my sacred place. I get to relax hang out with my family, cook and just be loved on by mom and dad. I LOVE it. We all went home one weekend to hear about mom and dad's latest trips and mom had SO MANY tomatoes. It was almost unreal...so I made this...

 I'm going to say I don't think this picture really does it justice. But home grown tomatoes, fresh basil out of the garden and then fresh mozzarella and a balsamic reduction. You just can't beat it. 

When we are home, we usually meet for breakfast on Saturday morning with my grandfather. It is a big joke in my family about who is the favorite grandchild. Actually, just about being favorite anything - cousin, aunt, whatever. So we have a new "favorite"....SR is marrying my sweet cousin E and he had to drive in the car in silence...for 7 hours....so she could write thank you notes. He said he deserved an award. So he got one:

"Favorite Future Spouse of the Grandchild" award. Don't ask for an award from someone in the Lippe family...you'll probably get one. Even Papa signed it! ha! LOVE IT! (don't worry, i just had an extra favorite grandchild award printed and ready to be signed with my name on it....just to razz E and to get some laughs!)

Then we had our monthly girls dinner. This time we let the boys come and play too! Here I am with KC and MG. It was our first real monthly dinner since she's been back! It is such a blessing to have her back in Houston!

 Here are all the girls. LOVE these girls....LOVE LOVE LOVE them. We have been friends the entire time I have been in Houston - they have truly helped me through the rough times and we have had lots of fun and laughter together! (and probably a little trouble here and there, but it was worth every second!)

 SM and I were cracking up that we were both wearing about the same dress! Here we are in our dresses!

 And here I am with Miss MG. I heart her....so so so glad she is back! I missed her while she was living in Dallas!

 And then I got to go visit my sweet friend JM in Minneapolis. Don't ask me where it is on a map....I'm still not sure. What I am sure of is how much I love it - well, in the summer anyway! It is a GREAT town and I think if I lived there I would be always walking around the lake...and enjoying ice cream afterwards too! And what else I love is these two sweet faces:

 I wish I could tell you which is which - I would guess L is on the left and M on the right  - but without seeing their toes, I can't tell! M has her toes painted to help tell them apart! They are SO CUTE....and they play so well like this. I loved getting to love on them a bit. They really are the best babies EVER! 

It rained a bit - and in case you didn't know - when it rains, you just have to go to Chuck E Cheese. Here is sweet E - she was posing because this "ride" takes your picture - don't think it was just for me! 

 And this sweet thing - Little L - she LOVES her leopards and smells them all the time. She is SO CUTE and I love this picture because it captures her perfectly. 

 And here is sweet JM. I HEART this girl. Its like we never left college or things haven't changed one bit...besides she's married with 4 kids and moved to Minnesota. But whatever. Nothing big.  I LOVED getting to spend time with her, hanging out, getting to see the town and getting to love on her sweet girls.  I want to go back in winter and see what this whole "-15" degrees is all about!

 And here is one thing I LOVE about that place. The Lake....this was taken as we were driving past. I know....who would have thought my camera on my phone would take this!

 And my favorite picture of the whole trip....at the Mall of the Americas after riding some rides....little L just looking up at me. I captured her sweet heart right here. JM has texted me telling me that little L asks for me every day and prays for me every night. She is just so SWEET. 

 And then there is this. I feel like I shouldn't admit I did this, but I did. To help out a friend, we judged a beauty pageant. Yes, I said beauty pageant. And this guy came to help crown the winners:

 It was an experience. That's about all I can say. This is one of the "Queens" getting crowned. She was SASSY and so cute! 

 And this little thing.....I mean, she walked the run way with this smile you couldn't believe. she was SO CUTE! It was an experience that is for sure. 

 Then it was time for the monthly Girls dinner with the 2010 Camp Rainbow Blue Team Counselor dinner. I have to say, I have met a lot of girls through the Houston Junior League. And I can say that these girls are some of the most amazing girls I have ever met. We just clicked. All of us - which is so rare. We still get together every month to hang out and catch up. I LOVE seeing them....this night we showed up at the restaurant at 7:30 and shut the place down at 11. Now, that is what I call dinner! 

Then I made another trip home to bake some cookies....just a few....like over 200. My sweet cousin E's wedding is next weekend so I had offered to bake the "going away presents" for the guests. We decided to do it in Seguin since my mom's kitchen is WAY bigger and she has double ovens. I think she was a little worried too since that was a lot of cookies. She apparently should have been more worried about the mess I was going to make.....

 And to think - that was the last batch of cookies and  that was what I looked like. After the icing, it was MUCH worse....don't worry, no pictures of that. It would definitely scare small children! I even made the bride come in and help....and put her to work!

 And don't think I stopped with the bride....the mother of the bride came too! She learned all about icing cookies...the cool way - with icing bags and squeeze bottles! 

 Here is the finished product - all 200 of them!!! you will note the perfect two rows around one side. It was like a race track - me scooting my chair around to put the initals on it and my aunt and cousin coming along behind me moving the iced cookies and putting clean ones to be done in a row. It was awesome! 

 And here is the fnished product. The they turned out SO CUTE!!!! And of course, match the cake topper! 

 Then it was off to meet the family for family breakfast...and on the way home dad took the other route -- which just happened to go through luling. I told him "if you go that way, I might not be able to smell the BBQ and not stop". His response, "why do you think I chose to go that way?"  Evil man....but this is in the parking lot. I am going to send it to my boss and suggest we make all our pumping units look cool like this....I think it could get us some street cred! 

 and a picture of what I had for lunch. definitely not on the "diet". definitely worth every single bite. All the places in Lockhart get all the fame on all the cooking shows, but I still like this one best. 

And now we are all caught up with the pictures. I have some more things to share, but I'll have to find some time to do that. Tomorrow is defensive driving and getting ready for a long week at work! Thanks for checking back in....now I have no excuses since the internet works again! Hope you had a great last month like I did! Have a blessed week!

Pinots Palette

The one thing about work is that we don't have a lot of "extra curricular"activities....unless I plan them. And thank goodness I LOVE planning them! This time one of my staff wanted to go paint again -- so I set up a painting excursion at Pinots Palette. We had 34 slots and we had 32 people sign up in the first day. Apparently everyone wanted to hang out and paint! I invited my friend CC and LM to come and play with me -- that is us before we painted. And yes, I am sure I had WAY more paint on our apron after I left!

If you've never done it before, it is a whole lot of fun. You pick a painting, bring in food and drinks and they help you paint the picture step by step. And usually there is a lot of talking, hanging out and making fun of each other...of course in a loving way! We had a tough time picking a painting because they have around 30 of them - and I asked 4 people for their top three....and of course - they didn't overlap at all. But we found one we liked (and of course, it happened to be the one I really liked!) and had such a fun time. 

Here are all of the girls with our paintings. If you look at all the paintings - they are all different - which is what I love about going to this place! 

 Here is an up close of the picture. I really don't think it really does it justice, but it is really pretty! I really like the background color - that is what drew me to the picture in the first place!

All in all, we had a blast...and everyone is already asking when we will be going the next time!

coping...

I've been having a hard time coping lately....there has been a lot going on in my life....lots of decisions to make, lots of trying to figure out where I am, what I am doing, and who I am spending time with....and is it right. And there has been lots of tears. I've had my feelings hurt, I've had lots of doubts and I've been spread out on the floor crying out to God to help me. Actually, that was after I threw a temper tantrum because I was being ridiculous....I admit it. Nothing like a 33 year old woman kicking and screaming on the floor because she can't have her way.

And the whole coping thing has become my biggest problem that I am trying to deal with. I cope with food. There - I admit it. When I get stressed - I eat. When I get sad - I eat. When I get my feelings hurt - I eat. Hence, about an extra 100 lbs on my body have been gained slowly because I am trying to cope with things that have been thrown my way. I'm trying to change that...I don't want to do that anymore. It doesn't get me anywhere but about 10 minutes of feeling better, and then the guilt hits that I shouldn't have done it. and about 5 lbs I will never get off. One cookie - fine. 10 cookies - not okay.

When things get really bad, I will add alcohol to that. I am usually a social drinker - a glass of wine here and there. A beer at dinner with friends. But when you see me throwing them back...I am trying to cope with something. Trying to mask some feelings that I am holding deep inside and just want to forget about. (and no - that doesn't happen that often. So don't schedule an intervention so fast!) And I am trying to change that too.

And then when eating and drinking don't seem to work, I turn to people to make me feel better and try to console me. And the problem is, I get so used to running to others and trying to get them to help me solve my problems, I've never learned how to solve them on my own. Now, I understand that is a very general statement, and probably not totally true - but I do rely on my friends a lot. And in the past few months, I've had a lot of changes in my life with the people I hang out with. People I used to rely on for that aren't as much a part of my life anymore, and some new people have come and gone very quickly.

So when you are not allowing yourself to cope with the first two things you usually run to - food and drinking -- and the third one isn't an option for a multide of reasons -- well, it has been really hard. Hence my temper tantrum that would rival any of your three year olds on a bad day. And I've been trying to do what I should have been doing the whole time - turning to God. Telling him my problems -- TURNING them over to him and letting him take care of it. I've been praying A LOT. Constantly in some ways...when I feel those tears welling up, I have a voice in my head that is just crying out to God "PLEASE don't let me cry God. Take away this pain in my heart. Take away these feelings of inadequacy. Take away these feelings of jealousy. Please God, help me."

Learning to rely on God....and not anything tangible is SO hard. There isn't that physical touch of someone touching your shoulder saying - "It will be okay." or that person grabbing you and hugging you saying "I love you Karen -- you can get through this." I am crying out to God saying help me -- and there is no response. (Now, I know there is a response...but it is hard to hear when you aren't TRYING to hear it that hard...part of my problem! If I'd quit complaining...or crying, maybe I could hear it!)

So know that I am okay....I think some of you are worried about me....and maybe you should be -- a little bit. But know I am trying to do this the healthy way....stopping bad behaviors, enlisting the right professionals to help me do that (like my nutritionist and life coach) and spending a LOT of time talking to God. Asking him to give me that comfort and relief, having him remind me that its only HIS love that I need, and also asking him to show me (and let me trust in) the plan he has for my life. I am reminded every day that when I try to plan and follow through with my plan -- I don't end up anywhere but hurt and frustrated -- because it isn't HIS plan. And maybe thats a good thing -- since it is a reminder that I can't do it on my own and I NEED to rely on him. So I am trying to give my plan up...and roll with it. Because from what I have seen in my past -- that although we walk through the valleys (and sometimes they are ugly and filled with sadness), the mountain tops we will see on the other side are so spectacular. And I can't wait to see the view......

I quit....

I had a long conversation with a friend laying by the pool not too long ago. After tackling a bunch of topics, she looked me square in the eye and told me point blank I was doing too much and maybe I needed to sift through the things I had committed myself to and quit. And then i needed to look at who I was spending some of my time with that maybe weren't, hmmm - how do I say this? - the best people  I should be spending my time with and quit them too.

I admit, I thought she was crazy. I mean, I knew what I was doing -- I for sure wasn't doing too much. And the people I was hanging out with I LOVED hanging out with...we had FUN. Now maybe it wasn't the best type of fun, and maybe it involved way more drinking than I should have been doing or other things that maybe weren't so healthy for me....but I was having FUN.

And then last night happened. It was like a perfect storm -- and I realized I couldn't do it all. And that some people were just making me tired....tired of crying, tired of saying I was sorry, tired of feeling like I couldn't trust them...

So I quit.

I made the decision that there are some people I need to distance myself from....and I told them that. I am done -- this isn't healthy for me anymore. i am done. and then I cried. a lot.

And then I woke up this morning, cried some more,  let my trainer beat any pent up emotion out of me and sent an email requesting a leave from one of the organizations I am in. I have been so stressed out with work and life and my health (which has been compounded by the extra stress at work) and I just couldn't do it anymore.

And then I prayed. And cried...again. And prayed again.

My friend LM wrote a perfect post on her blog describing that she needed an emotional recess. I think I am right there with her. I need to quit trying to do so many things and be so many things to so many people and just take care of me for a while.

so say a little prayer for me -- for strength, quietness and the ability to say NO....to so many things and so many people. and for God to show me so many things in my life i need to see....through his eyes and not my own.

a re-post...

I'm reposting this....I was looking for something on my blog and I found this post...and it hit home. Again. I feel like I needed it today....so here it is....to share with you.

 ‎"You have to find something. Something that anchors you, something that keeps you looking forward. Even on the bad days, the days when you're tempted to look back."

So many times I have come back to write....and then I started and just stopped. I have just been overwhelmed. That's the best way that I can describe it. Overwhelmed. 

But the best thing is that I have been surrounded by some amazing people, listening to me, helping me work through things, and wiping away my tears when they come. And for that I am ever greatful. I know that I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people in my life. SO VERY BLESSED. 

And God has been working on my heart constantly lately. He has opened my eyes to lots of things and reminded me that no matter what happens, that He will take care of me. He will love me....and His love is all that I need. Even though at times I want more...He knows what I need and will provide me with that....all according to His plan.

These past few weeks in my bible study, God has shown me so many things -- I've talked about this bible study before, its Ruth by Kelly Minter....and its amazing. Some of the main things that God showed me was this:

God controls our plans....

The Lord directs our steps...so why try to understand everything? He shows us where we need to go and makes sure we get there. (Proverbs 20:24)

We can make our own plans, but the Lord always will give us the right answer -- according to His plans. (Proverbs 16:1)

No human wisdom, or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord.

 (Proverbs 21:30-31)

Our lives are not our own, we are not able to plan our own course. (Jeremiah 10:23)

And when I read all of that, I am reminded that I am NOT in control. He is. I know what I want, and I can definitely PRAY for what I want, but God is in control. He is guiding me on His path and I need to let Him lead. If things don't happen according to my plan, well, I need to stop freaking out and let God's plan play out. Because as we've all heard before, His plan is so much better than any other plan I could even DREAM of. So trust God -- He will guide, and He will provide. Let Him.

When we are wrapped in our garments of mourning, we're unavailable for whatever else God has for us. 

I admit...I'm mourning the loss of some friendships. And it sucks. I think about them all the time, I want things to be the way they were. I want to know WHY. I cry about it...I admit it - I do.  Its upsetting to me that things aren't the way that they used to be, and I want it to be. But its not, and it wont ever be. I think about it often...and at times, it consumes me. And then I read that statement above, and I cry more....because I am so consumed in what I lost and wondering why instead of looking ahead....that I've totally taken myself out of what God is wanting to do with my life.

Kelly Minter put it so perfectly when she said this: "My simple hope is when God has held us, healed us, and lifted our heads, that we'd be ready to move forward with Him; and though our hearts may always ache, we won't stay in our mourning clothes forever."

I feel like God is asking me to throw off some of those garments -- and its not just mourning clothes, its garments that are weighing me down -- things like unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, and jealousy. I admit it - I am carrying some of that around, and its weighing me down. 

And I think that I am there -- realizing that it is time to shed those mourning clothes and move forward. Its gonna hurt, it is, but I have to move on. Things will not be what they used to be...and that's okay. God has some amazing things ahead for me and I need to lift my head and see what those are! 

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 

Isaiah 43:18-19

I think this ties so perfectly in with the previous statement about throwing off the mourning clothes, and lifting your head up. As we focus on things in the past, it doesn't allow us to see when God is doing a new thing in our life. As it says in Ephesians 4:22-24, we need to quit thinking about the past and move forward --- trusting in God and His plans. And take the risk of being available and learning about God's plans -- instead of focusing on the bad things that have happened in our past. Because that just isn't going to get me anywhere....and I've seen that. I spend so much time focusing on the negative in the past that I can't lift my eyes up to see all the positive things in my life, and all the wonderful things that God has in my future. 

Lay down....at the feet of Jesus....and REST.

I'm not so sure I know what it means to rest. I swear - I run around with my head cut off all the time. Constantly doing this and that and trying to see and spend time with everyone. But I have to rest...and there is no better place than at the feet of Jesus. Lay everything down, and stop worrying about it and just rest. 

I think she says it best when she says this: "This place of surrender is the most freeing of places to be and the hardest to get to. Some of us have been working, toiling, and struggling -- and we've done all that we can do and now its time to cease striving and lie down at the feet of Jesus.....the earthly and eternal blessings of submission to Jesus are unparalleled. What He can do with a willing life surrendered at His feet is more than we can comprehend. I just know I don't want to miss it for whatever I'm clutching in my hands."

pictures...

My cable and internet has been out....for 2 whole weeks. there are definitely pros and cons to this. Pros - finding something other than sitting on my butt and watching TV or playing on my computer, spending more time with friends, or actually being productive when I am home! Cons - not being able to play on my computer or update my blog!!!

I had to come home to wait for the repair guy today -- I chose the 4-7 window...and used 4-6:30 as nap time, then miraculously when I woke up, the repair guy showed up. How perfect is that!!!! I got a nap and my internet and cable fixed all in the same night! WOO-hoo!!

Well, now that I can use my computer again, I thought I would upload some pictures and I realized I had a TON of pictures I don't think I uploaded...so I thought I would share some of these with you -- as they tell some stories over the last few months!

As usual, a group got together to bake easter cookies.....these were some of my favorites. They turned out so freaking well!!! Can I just say how I LOVE baking cookies and even more, being able to do it with friends!

 And Easter usually means some time in Seguin....which I love more than anything. Especially since my mom always has the yard looking so fantastic. This morning, the statue in part of her garden had the sun shining on it just perfectly. I tried to capture it -- but I don't think the picture did it justice.

 And the other thing I love about being home is my parents back porch. We love sitting out there and having dinner and hanging out. This weekend we had a scrabble tournament....which I have to say was WAY excited my dad beat my sister :) Don't think I didn't trash talk her on his behalf (because I knew I wouldn't win!!). But this night we had some special guests at dinner...can you see them on the other side of the fence?!?

 In case you can't, see this picture.....I swear there were about 30 of them, just walking in a line on the other side of the fence. It was so awesome.

And I have been doing a ton of things with work friends.....we have two boys that have moved here from Los Angeles and we have been having a lot of outings with our work friends to get everyone acquainted. We love Friday night happy hours, especially with our little friends coming to visit! We usually go early so kids / hubbies can join and we have a blast! this night I think we started at 6, and the last round of people left at 10:30. It was so much fun. Here is TL, one of the new controllers with me, and JD's son. He is SO STINKING CUTE! And he loved sitting on TL's lap....he was being bounced and when T stopped bouncing him, he would jump up and down like he was saying "COME ON T, BOUNCE ME!!!"

 And we had our annual girls weekend with some of our highs school friends. We have been getting together for 7 years now, and we LOVE getting together. We usually don't all see each other but two times a year all together - for Easter (with families) and our girls weekend. This year our friend CL sent her hubbies and kids to the lake and we took over their house in SA. We had so much fun getting to hang out and be silly. I LOVE these girls. Most of us have been friends since we have been born. And if not then, it was within like the first 5 years of life for sure!  Here is me and my twinkie!

 Here is the group -- CL, me, my sissy, GG and AN. It was fun to get to catch up with everyone and just spend some quality time together....which also of course involved good food and even better wine!

And other than that - I figured out part of my problem with my weight fluctuating....I think I have been eating WAY too much sodium. Long story short, I track all of my food on MyFitnessPal (which I love...and highly recommend!) and my nutritionist was trying to help me figure it out -- and we realized my sodium intake was out of control. And I want you to know - I am totally on an eating "routine" and eat the same things over and over again. A few things I realized:

- peanut butter has WAY more sodium than something like almond butter....enough to make me consider switching permanently!
- something you think that is healthy like smoked turkey has a TON of sodium. Almost 1/2 your daily intake....and that is BEFORE you add two pieces of bread that are also like 10% of your daily intake!
- anything you eat at a restaurant is going to be more a TON of sodium. I thought I was doing good eating a grilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A and it was 50% of my daily sodium intake.
- cottage cheese has like 25% of your daily intake...which is really high...for a snack. My nutritionist told me to stick to yogurt - it has much less sodium.

So now we are monitoring that way more closely. and hopefully that will help. What did not help was my doctors visit on Tuesday. I REALLY liked her the first time I saw her. This visit I saw her for approximately 3 minutes. And as she is running out the door, I was trying to talk to her about me not losing weight, and actually gaining weight, when I am eating about 1600-1800 calories net and working out 6 days a week. Her response, "some people just have trouble losing weight".

I want you to know it took every ounce in my body not to yell. I CAN lose weight...I've lost a LOT already. I'm about 90% sure my thyroid has something to do with it. She told me that my last blood test was really low. I'm guessing its a little low now too (hence my two hour nap and still being exhausted right now). So time will tell -- hopefully sooner than later. It gets REALLY frustrating trying SO hard and seemingly not going anywhere....except to a place where your pants are too tight....and its not because you got to eat lots of cupcakes and ice cream! So say a little prayer that we can get this under control....I'm REALLY ready to not have to blog about my thyroid anymore. I'd rather blog about all the fun I am having instead!