busy season....and more

I promised myself I wouldn't post about work on my blog - as I would not let it consume all of my life. But I felt that I needed to report this....that this is the first busy season in 8 years that I don't feel stressed, that I am not all worked up and not sleeping and tired. For once, I am calm, content, and trying to do all I can and recognizing I am doing my best and I can't do more than that. What is the change you ask? I don't know....I was talking to my health coach (I was enrolled in a program called I CAN relax...yes, I know, but it was a stress management class that i needed to take. It was 6 months long and REALLY good) and she said she could tell a DRAMATIC difference in my demeanor and how I was responding to things. I told her I didn't know if it was the beta blockers that don't allow the adrenaline to get to my heart, or that it was I am in a different place now than I have ever been before -- it is a place where I know that it is okay for me to decide I don't want to do this anymore, and it isn't failure if I decide to leave. I know for some of you your ears are perking up and saying WHAT?!? are you leaving? The answer is no - not right now. But I have been struggling with the decision so much and I think I made peace with myself based on counsel from partners, friends and family that it is OKAY to leave. I know it sounds weird, but it was something I had to come to terms with -- I LOVE my job, but I needed to tell myself that if the stress or work load was too much it is okay to walk away - I wasn't going to be letting anyone down. Everyone would understand that it was what was best for me. Just coming to terms with that has made such a dramatic difference - I can't even begin to understnad it. But I still think it is the drugs :) It helps to pop those beta blockers at around 9 and by 10:30 I am exhausted and have to sleep - and they help me sleep! Why didn't I take these years ago? :)

So - just so you all know, this busy season is going great. Although - I think my partners are stressed out becuase they don't see me stressed out (which is the only Karen they know) so I think it freaks them out a little bit. It is hard to explain that this is actually a better Karen!

And today my friend KJ and I got to hang out -- I made her go with me for a Pedi so we could catch up (and if you would have seen my toes you would know why I needed to go!) and then we went to go get her make up done with Isaac the makeup man. Can I just say how much I love that man? He just is amazing. He asked the right questions - listened, and then gave her what she needed. The makeup to wear to work, the extra Umphf when she wanted to look especially nice, and taught her how to do it. If you ever need a makeover, you have got to go see him. We cracked up becuase he says he is going to make you do half of it - and you are sitting there thinking I am going to look like a crazy with half the face perfect and the other half like a mad woman...of course, he makes it all look perfect and gives such great tips.
Of course, when we left she looked AMAZING....he did such a great job, and of course, she is so beautiful anyway, this was just the cherry on top! And then we ate at Nordies in their bistro. um, you never think about it, but it is REALLY good. especially the white chocolate bread pudding. I couldn't help it - I had to have it. and it was REALLY good.

And lastly, even though I said I never would, I joined the junior league of houston. I had my first meeting the other night. Ironically, I had such a "view" of some of the people in it - and God put me in my place by setting me at a table with girls I LOVED and can't wait to get to know better. We were all just "real" and laughing and carrying on. They were awesome. Ironically one was class of 2000 at A&M with me, in the MSC for the whole time - mainly town hall, and i am pretty sure I know her husbands whole family. how crazy is that? I am excited to get to meet some new people - I feel like I keep losing friends here as they keep moving away, and I know they can NEVER be replaced, but it would be nice to have a few more girls to hang out with! everyone is always so stinking busy! It doesn't really pick up till May, so I did my duty of just getting everything in and such, and I will update more when it gets rolling.

So, that is the quick update. The rest of the weekend I will be working and trying to get everything done before my deadlines. Say a little prayer that everything goes smoothly over the next few days....and pray for my staff. They are a little stressed - and I want them to make it through all of this without more tears (yes, I said more) and with a good attitude. I would appreciate it -- and pray for me - just that I can be a teacher, hold my temper when I am angry and be able to communicate with them in a way that builds them up, and not tear them down.